As I start typing this post I can feel my blood start to boil. The rage that I am oh so familiar with. Thankfully, I have learnt over the many years of driving how to handle my rage and how not to lose my shit at someone on the road, because, well you never know, he/she might just have a baseball bat, a gun or a temper I can’t contend with. This is possibly one of the ways I deal with road rage, I write about it. In no particular order, because they all equally road-rage inducing, here are my top 5 pet hates on the road.
INTERSECTION DOUCHEBAGS
You know the ones I am talking about right? The ones who can see that they will block the intersection if they go through the green robot, but go anyway because, well green robot. The worst part is that when they realise that they ain’t going anywhere and have, in fact, blocked the intersection, no eye contact is made. Nope, these douchebags look straight ahead of them and pretend like you are not staring them down like a predator hunts its prey. And don’t even mention the person behind me who hoots when I refuse to be such a douchebag, I can see them mouthing, “It’s green you idiot. Goooooooo!” and reply, “Where to Mother F*****?”
BUGGER ALL INDICATION
This one baffles my mind. Surely you don’t want someone driving in to your car? How you prevent this is by indicating to the people in the others cars around you, what your intentions are. The name of the little flickering lights is even called “Indicators.” It’s right there in the word, telling you what they are needed for. Use them! Always!
SPEEDSTERS
I won’t admit to always sticking to the speed limit, but I am never an a**hole about it. I only ever go about 5 to 10km over the speed limit and only when I am on the open road out of town. I live on a pretty busy road, it is filled with families walking their dogs, kids playing ball games and the elderly being taken out by their carers for a walk in the sunshine. The rage that arises from me when I see some tool in a sports car gunning it down this road at about 120 km/h is indescribable. It is a 60km/h zone. I have witnessed someone being knocked over and killed outside my house and I just can’t fathom why people would take such idiotic chances on such busy roads. Stop it!
SLOW LANE HOGGERS
Then there is the opposite side of this coin. The slow lane hoggers who refuse to move over. I must admit, it is quite entertaining to watch other people get stuck behind these leisurely drivers, the hand gestures and facial expressions are priceless. I should know, I have made most of them. The fast lane is not for cruising. It is for passing slower cars. Get out of that lane!
CYCLISTS
I am very aware of my gross generalisation here. I am also aware of the motorist vs cyclist debate. BUT, just this morning a cyclist went through a red traffic light and a car almost hit him. Thankfully, a traffic cop saw it and pulled the cyclist over to give him a good bollocking. But the problem is that nothing changes. There is an air of arrogance amongst some cyclists, (as their is amongst some motorists) and it is getting worse. I will always be considerate of a cyclist, what annoys me, is that a cyclist assumes I, as a motorist, am out to get them. I am not. I am trying to share the road with you in an orderly and respectful fashion but you are not playing by the same rules. Abide by the same road laws as me and we will get on just fine!
There are so many other driving pet hates I have it is a wonder I do what I do.
I shall leave drinking and driving, texting and driving, and traffic circle ‘navigators’ for another day. But I will leave you with this; just be considerate. That is all it takes. If everyone on the roads considered everyone else on the roads, we would have far fewer accidents, if any at all. And certainly less road rage!
Drive safely guys.
