My version of festive season road safety tips
How many articles have you seen from boring press releases sent about tips on road safety over the festive season and blah, blah, blah? Now look, I am all for being safe on the roads. The stats on road deaths is alarming. What I don’t love is the same old boring articles that no one reads. I am guilty of posting such content. But not anymore! Well, until I run out of ideas that is.
I am just going to give you a few pearls of wisdom from my buckets of free advice and then you add yours in the comments section on my social media pages and together we can teach idiot drivers how to drive properly.
MY ROAD SAFETY TIPS
1. DON’T BE A DOOS
I mean, this should go without saying. But if everyone was less of a doos on the road, we would have fewer accidents. You are not the only person who knows how to drive. And I can assure you that you are not the best driver on the road (that position has already been taken by yours truly). Everyone is just trying to get to their destination safely. So be kind, be considerate and just don’t be a doos.
2. DON’T SPEED LIKE A TOOL
I know you have to get to your destination “like right now,” but this does not give you the right to drive over the speed limit. The only time you can is if someone’s life is in danger and you are taking them to hospital. I think that is really the only time I will tolerate speeding. And do not give me the argument that speed doesn’t kill, only bad driving does. These can go hand in hand, my friend. And if you want to see the death toll rise, combine bad driving with speeding.
3. HAVE A KIT KAT
Take a break! If you are heading out for the holidays and driving long distances, be sure to stop often. I know this sucks. Even I hate this one because I just want to get to my destination and crack open the bottle of wine. I hear ya. But, I cannot begin to explain to you how just this one little tip could actually save your life. You might feel fine, but your reflexes will not be as they should be if you are fatigued. Just stop, walk around the car, and get back in. But either way, stop and take a break. Have a Kit Kat.
4. YOUR CAR IS NOT FINE
Don’t just assume that because you had a service done in March that all is hunky dory. No sirree! You need to check that all those tyres are in good nick, that your battery is alive and well, that your windows aren’t cracked or chipped, that your oil is oily, and all those other checks that will ensure you a) don’t break down on a scary road, b) cause a traffic delay for everyone else, c) don’t get in an accident that could have been prevented by checking your tyres, or d) get to your destination safely and on time.
5. PATIENCE IS ACTUALLY A VIRTUE
It is always better to be patient rather than impatient, especially on the road. I know you want to get to where you are going (refer to the bottle of wine in tip 3), but if you really think about it, will the extra minute you gained by overtaking on a blind rise really make a difference at the end of the day? I can tell you when it will make a difference; when you are lying in the hospital thinking, “What the hell was I thinking, I should have just waited that extra minute.”
6. RISK TAKING IS FOR BUSINESS VENTURES AND OTHER SUCH THINGS
It is NEVER for the road. If you feel like you are about to take a risk while you’re driving then you are and stop yourself. Overtaking on solid lines or on blind rises, overtaking when visibility is bad, driving over the speed limit, driving when you’re tired, or doing anything that is against the law is a no go zone! Taking a risk on the road has to be one of the most idiotic things you could do.
7. GET FEZZY BUT DON’T DRIVE
Look, it is no secret that I love a bit of wine (ok a lot, but who is counting the
bottles glasses?), but one thing I refuse to do is drink and then drive. There really is no excuse these days. Uber and the likes have made it so that we can really enjoy ourselves with no catastrophic consequences. Plan your day or evening. Don’t assume you won’t drink. Rather plan to drink and then if you don’t, yay for no hangover the next day. Either way, you will be a responsible human being who I would very much like to be friends with. If you’re a drink and driver, you go in the ‘No Friends’ bin. And hopefully to jail a swell.
8. USE YOUR COMMON SENSE
At the end of the day, you are not an idiot. Are you? Only an idiot will drive like a doos or do any of the stupid things I have mentioned in this article. Be the driver you would want your loved ones to be. If you have kids, drive like you would want your kids to drive. Think about it, if you witness them overtake on a solid line or get behind the wheel absolutely trollied, I am certain you would want to kick their ass (not in a violent way, obviously).
So there you have it. I could go on and on, but I assume you already know all of this and I am not going to bore you with any more obvious tips. Let’s bring that festive season death toll right down. Imagine a holiday time where not one person dies on our roads. Wouldn’t that be incredible? Well, only we can make it happen. It is up to each and every single one of us to just be better drivers, and overall better people.